Today was the most difficult day of this journey, if not our lives. Alex had not responded well to being taken off the oscillator and had to go back. All of the settings had been maxed out and there was no room left for the machines to help. We were told that they didn’t know how much time Alex had left with us. We were devastated. It was recommended that we “withdraw care” for him and prepare to say good bye. Our hearts were being ripped from our chests with each passing minute. Through countless tears and many prayers we both agreed to let Alex decide which way this would go. However, if he turned for the worse, they would only make Alex comfortable and not try to resuscitate. A Dr. suggested that Laurina be given an opportunity to hold Alex as she had yet to do so since his little life began. All of our family came to the hospital to spend a few moments with the boys then we were left alone with our little guy. We were feeling the pain of watching his vitals sliding fast – he was getting sicker by the second. The nurses, Drs. and respiratory techs quickly got Alex out of the isolette and onto Laurina’s chest. The absolute moment he felt her against him – his oxygen started to rise and his heart rated settled. As the minutes in mommy’s arms turned to hours, he kept improving. We were witnessing a true miracle of the strength of the bond that exists between a mother and child. After five hours, we changed positions and I held for another 3. We continued to pray over Alex. We took great comfort in our decision to let Alex decide. He is a fighter and fought so hard to stay with us another night.
This was all happening while we were agonizing over waiting for the results of the tests for infections on Andrew. So far, nothing had come back yet. Another 24 hours and we’ll know if he’s clear.
